Sleep Walking

Sometimes I feel like I am sleep walking through life. My daily routine rarely has a change. When it does it generally means someone is sick or injured in my family. I find myself trying to find a way to take care of myself. Where do I find the time to exercise and plan healthy meals. Maybe somewhere in between the endless tasks that wait for me everyday. I knew being a working parent would be tough, but never really realized the things that would be placed on the back burner. I don't miss the late night parties or the nights out on the town. What I miss most days is quite and relaxation. What I find hard is allowing myself to miss them. It does not seem right that I miss the days where the only person I had to bathe and dress was myself. That I did not have to rush out of the house, out of work and back home. If I was running a little late it was not a crisis, there was no need to pick up the phone and call anyone but my husband. What I really need to do is insist I am given time to get myself healthy, even just a simple 30 minute walk seems impossible. All that said, I love my family with all of my heart. I am scared that my heart is strained, that it cannot handle even my most calm day. One day at a time...today was just a hard one. Tomorrow will be a new one.